Written in CAT class.

She woke up early in the morn,
Stretched her back and luxuriously yawned.
Little did the poor thing know
That her life would be perfect no more.

She had a bath and wore her clothes,
Brushed her hair and blew her nose.
Picked up her bag and walked out the door,
To be faced with graffiti: “YOU LITTLE WHORE!!!!!!!!!”

Her jaw dropped, her eyes widened,
Little Katie had never been so frightened!
While fighting a sinking feeling in her gut,
She embarked on a mission: find out who thought she was a S**t.

As she walked to school,fuming with anger,
Along came her arch rival, Helen Wrangler.
They looked at each other, and their eyes narrowed,
The evil glint in Helen’s eyes left little Katie’s brows furrowed.

They passed each other, not a word was said,
But thoughts were swimming in little Katie’s head.
Could it be that Helen, that wretched destitute,
Had called little Katie a prostitute..?

Determined to get to the root of the crime,
Little Katie enlisted the help of her best friend,Jane Bryne.
“Dear Jane”, she said, “I have a favour to ask,
“Make Helen talk ASAP, it’s not a hard task!”

Ever-doting Jane was put to the test,
And she truly did her very,very best.
Helen sang like a bird, she told Jane all,
It was indeed her who had painted Katie’s wall!

“A-ha!”, said Katie, “I knew it was she!
“Those innocent eyes did not deceive me!
“I’ll show her who’s boss, just you see,Jane,
“Miss Wrangler shall soon experience the utmost pain!”

So little Katie played nice, and called Helen home,
Making damn sure that they’d be alone.
She ushered Helen in in a matronly way,
Saying, “My,my,how lovely you do look today!”

They chittered and chuckled, and gossiped and giggled,
But Katie noticed that Helen had begun to fidget.
“Darling Helen”, she cooed, “What’s wrong, what’s the matter?”
And silly Helen’s teeth began to chatter.

“My God!” Katie yelped, her eyes full of dismay,
“What HAS gotten into you,Helen, do tell,pray!”
Helen turned to her sheepishly, and sadly said,
“I’m afraid I have something I have to confess.”

“What is it?”, asked Katie, all ears at once,
“Tell me immediately, don’t be a dunce!”
“Well”, muttered Helen, mustering up the balls,
“It was I who painted those words on your wall!”

Said Katie triumphantly, “Did you honestly think I wouldn’t know?
“Come off it, darling, I’m the next Sherlock Holmes!
“How dare you do this, now don’t start to blubber,
“I was a good girl all summer, I even used the rubber!”

“Did you think you were her because I am so nice?
“Oh no no no…you’re going to pay the price!
“Noone messes with Katie, don’t ever forget,
“Too bad you won’t be around to warn people, my precious pet…”

Katie picked up a knife, Helen screamed like a banshee,
But her yelps were cut short by Katie’s knife mastery.
She burnt Helen’s pieces, and with her characteristic eye twitch,
Put out the fire, and said, “Take that, you little bitch!”

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~ by cranialrumblings on February 1, 2009.

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