Words of wisdom.

Some of the howlarious things that my friends and I have said through the years, which I have somehow managed to document.

Me to Jai: “I HAVE INVENTED A NEW WORD! GUESTISTATIOUSLY!! 😀 😀 :D”

Me to Aakriti: “So, the waiter is . . . umm. . .waiting.”

“His nose looks like ITALY!!!”

“I wanted to buy a black ring in Delhi, but then I bought this one. (Points to blue ring on her finger). It’s not black, but it’s nice. It’s blue.”

“Oh my God. . .I have so many funny people to make fun of, it’s not even funny.”

Akshit: “Are balloons bo-cupoard-able bio-degradable?!?!?!”

Mom(looking at the back of my phone):”Where’s the camera?”
Me(looking at it with her): “On my PHONE ya, mamma!!”

Mom(looking at the F.R.I.E.N.D.S credits): “Where the HELL was the Nervous Male Passenger!?!?!?

Me (trying to think up an excuse for why i didn’t go to Parsee Dairy to buy paneer) : “MOM! I entered Parsi Dairy, and….umm….this auntie was sitting there, and she said ANDAR MAT AANA BETA!!!”

Me(during an extremely uncomfortable illness): “Oh shit! I shat!!!”

Me: “I AM OFFICIALLY OUT OF 10 RUPEE COINS!!!!”

Me: “How many socks have you put in this sandwich????”

Me(to Pooja): Ay, how’s your sister?
Pooja: She’s fine. She’s not in labour!
Me: 😐

Me(To my mother): Mamma, that nailpolish looks like potty!
Mom: How can nailpolish look like potty!?!?!?
Me: It looks like PINK potty!!
Mom: Anisha, who has pink potty?!?
Me(in a tone only the infinitely wise can use): The Pink Panther….

Me: Who all are gonna get off the train?
Aakriti: You, me and WAAAAAAH!!!!(referring to the wailing baby in the compartment)

Me (to Benaifer, in the Principal’s office, during a PR Cell meeting): “Give me lap dance, baaaabiiieeee!!!”

Shail: “Anisha, you are living in Facebook denial…………..”

Me: “Ay, which is tht song? the one tht goes.. la la la la la…!?!??!”

Me(To Nandini)” (for those who don’t knw, I am majoring in Political Science)
*says very excitedly* “DO YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENED IN POL CLASS TODAY!?!?!?”



*silence*

Me(for 10 hours in Rishabh’s car…): *deadpan tone* : “I want chocolate…I want chocolate…I want I want chocolate…I want I want chocolate…I want I want chocolate…I want chocolate…..”
(when they finally shove a large piece of Dairy Milk…)
“Now i feel sick, dude.”

Rohan(to me, at his house): “Anisha, I’m not judgemental!I don’t judge you for all the crappy things you’ve done…!!”

“bang bang lulu lulu bangs all day who we gonna bang on when lulu goes away

lulu had a boyfriend his name was diamond dick some girls liked his diamonds lulu liked his dick l
lulu went to boston there she met a trucker he hired 1 big motel room just so that he could fuck her

hahahahahahahahahahahaha

its a damn funny song”…this is when he was verrryyy drunk!!!

Me(during the Olympic Games)*randomnly screaming on the road in various parts of Bombay,for no apparent reason: “POLAND WON A GOLD MEDAL IN SHOT PUT!!!!!!!”

Sonu: “I know that place!!”

“I want banana chipsssss…..!!!”

“Anisha,where’s Lake Mahalakshmi!?!?!?!The guide told me it’s not in Kerala!”

Taha and I(in unison): “Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee……”

“3D LOSER!!”

Me(to Dilshad): “You’ll love sleeping with me!! I have awesome silky thigh hair!!”

Divinder(weirdo from SRCC)[during the Debate….]:
“Excuse me, could you please define the House?”

“Do you know where I can get woadka??”

“You have a beautiful soul”

Jai and I(in the train, listening to Zombie on the I-Pod, singing VERY loudly): “Zo-hom-bee, Zo-hom-bee, Zo-hom-bee-ee-ee-ee-ee……!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

In Delhi, while trying to find our way to SRCC):
Me: “Dude, this looks like a village. Next thing you know, we’ll see a cow on the road!”
(Next thing we knew, we saw a plastic cow on the first floor of a building…)

Nandini: “This is what I’ll say: Helooo!!!! I have a crush on you! Now you have to like me back, because of Exhibit A!!” *shows the guy her phone, which has a
South Park theme*

Aruna Ma’am: “Man, that man was a mannnnnnnn!!!!!”

Apeksha: “Listen, I’ll murder your santras, OK?”

Nandini and I: “WE ARE THE SHATS!!!”

“There is no price for AWESOMENESS!!….or attractiveness!!”
Me *doing daft dance*: “The light is on, the light is on…….”

Tanya (on my 20 birthday): “You’re a vooman now, Anisha!”

Reema Jhulka: waypins, wurpins, waypins, wurpins………

Devikoo and I: “WTF man?!!?” *doing hand gesture*

Me:”Wassup cellphone???”

“Wassup Flora/Fauna?”

“Goodbye, parents.”

“Bawi has a rodent on her person!”

(imitating a teacher from school): “Why…WHY?!?!?!?!!?”

Devikoo: “MAYBE!!!!”

“It’s the monsoon OK, this weather will come again!”

“Anisha, howcome you always get the cool rickshawallas?”

“Dude, after yesterday, I’ll believe ANYTHING!” (after Infiniti)

Khushroo (attempting to accentuate my stupidity): “Dude, they’re showing Snatch at 8.15 on Zee Studio tonight……WITH SUBTITLES!!!”

“So, where’s the code ya? Do you have to scratch this?”
(scratches vigorously at a black box,while i wonder when he’s going to see the code written just below the box IN BRIGHT YELLOW!)

“Anisha, where’s KFC running?”

Me: “It’s breezing so nicely!!”

(standing in pouring rain): “Where’s the rain, ya?”

“We no need no edukayshunnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn………..”

“LISTEN I’M NOT ABLE TO SPELL ANONYMOUS!!!”

Nandini: “If only you could draw on Favourite Quotes….” *looks skyward wistfully*

“HOLY SHATTINGS!!…this is the shit which is holy!”

(Referring to my idea of a Nandini application on Facebook’s Favourite Quotes):
“Click the button!! See what she says!!”

Words which Nandini and I have coined at various intervals:
Lameness
Loosed
Dooed
Losted
Afterthoughtings
Ponderments

Me: “Nandini, you should have a hose in your nose!” *collapses laughing*

My historic msg to Nandini:
“Phoonk. All this is so phoonking phoonked up my little Charulata! (and as an afterthought..) Phoonkeshwar.

Me to Nandini: “Can we go out and flirt?”

Apeksha: “LISTEN THIS GRAPE CANDY IS NOT WANTED HERE O.K.?”

“What do you call a solder’s wife who’s climbing the stairs?………….
Chadti Jawaani!” *collapses laughing*

Nandini: “I LOVE CHICKEN BOOBS!”

The following conversation goes down in history as one of the DUMBEST and most hilarious conversations between Nandini and me. Ever.

Me(after much thought): “……..I wanna say something intellectual ya…Paulo Coelho??……*with victorious glint in eye* E=MC2!!!!”

*Nandini proceeds to write this down as we LOAO*

Me: “But wadoo i saaayyyyy?!?!?!?!”

Nandini: “Why do you NEED to say something intellectual?”

Me: “He’s an engineer!!”

Nandini: “Well, he’s not engineering RIGHT NOW!”

Me: “How do you know?!?!”
(After much thought)… “You are Kumbhkaran”
Finally I gave up, and intellectually said, “Hmmmm…”
________________________________x______________________________

Me:”We are telepathetic”

Anusuya: “This is the heights of patheticity!!”

“Kamar hai ya kamra!?!?”

“Maa ki chut man, dhim pataka!!”

Me(after looking at the entire page of quotable quotes written in 2 hrs):
“This whole page went in today!”

Nandini: “How bout Karaok ewih Rohan?” (Looking at the notice at Jazz)

Me(as Nandini picks up candy from Zamir’s shop):
“I took you to the candy shop, ta na na na……..”

(After Apeksha informs me tht people are fainting behind me)
“I am toxic, baby! ta ta ta da da da da ta da da da…ta na na na na…” *after spending 3 mins counting the ta’s, na’s and da’s*

Nandini: “It’s tough to give lap dances to people who are standing”
Akriti: “Why can’t you give?”
Me: “Because then it would be a Homo Sapien Erectus dance!”

Nandini: “Why don’t you think of me and my needs, ya, Anisha?”

Apeksha(in the train): “Woooaaahh, our legs are getting intertwined”
Nandini: “Yus, we are having leg orgasms!”
…a few minutes later…
Nandini: “This is how my hunter makes noise: sssshhhh chik!” *sweeping motion*

Me(suddenly hitting the side of the train with my pen): *Apologetically to everyone*: “Sorry, I just felt like doing that”

Me(To Raza): “It’s not sense, it’s flatulence!”

Dilshad : “this is stimulating!!!”

Sneha: “dude, you’re so accentuous!!”

Me to Anuja: “this is totally frigiculating!!!!!”

Me: “I AM GOING TO SCREAM RAPE IN A VERY LOUD VOICE!”

Rish: “Dude, I think we’re back where we strtd”

A.K.: “Niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiicccccccccceeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!”

Naina:”umm…hii…what were you doing down there,again?”

Akshit Baluja: hmmmm……….

Rishabh,Prachi,Payal,Deepak and Rahul, at various times and places,to me: Dude, this just looks/sounds SO WRONG!

Ashlene Cardoza: (prophetic,extremely serious voice)I LIVE LIFE FOR THE MOMENT YA ANISHA!

Me: He’s a GREAT kisser!
Ruheen: what does he do???

From ‘Horton hears a Who?’ : in my world, everyone’s a pony..and they all eat rainbows, and poop butterflies 🙂

Me to Dilshad: “Listen, I like A***** ya!!! Do somethinggg!!!!”

Me to someone when I was drunk: BWAHAHAHA you look like a yellow gay banana!!! 😛

Dilshad to Avik: Avik, if you give ‘pat on head’ one more time, I will give you ‘slap on face!!!!’

Shraddha Kinger: Do you have a nice fluttery feeling?

Khushroo Antia: And now she’s even more damn hot!!

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~ by cranialrumblings on March 20, 2009.

7 Responses to “Words of wisdom.”

  1. listen

    you said Guestiously. I SAID GUESTISTATIOUSLY. ME WOMAN ME. WE CAME UP WITH IT. PLEASE DO NOT TAKE AWAY THE POSITIVE THING I HAVE CONTRIBUTED TO THE HUMAN RACE FROM MEEEEEEE! PLEASE!!!!!!

    • No no no. . .I said Guestishly.
      You said Guestatiously.
      And THEN, when we were standing at the Momo dude, I coined Guestistatiously, and kept repeating it like a parrot.
      So there!
      :*

  2. u hav lost it girl!!!! i suggest u soon take a appointment wid a psychiatrist!..ohhh btw..thnx 4 d new words..human race really needs it!!!

  3. okfine ya..ok ok ok..we were both mistaken…:P me a little more, but still… joint effort..right?

  4. i’ve read most of this on your facebook.
    “Zo-hom-bee, Zo-hom-bee, Zo-hom-bee-ee-ee-ee-ee……!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
    this i used to do in the ED lab to piss everyone off.

    Aaaaaaaaand one of my abso fave lines….we all use these :

    STOP SHOUTING!!!DON”T YOU KNOW IT’S RUDE TO SHOUT???

    and:

    will you STOP fucking swearing already dammit!!!

  5. considered making a wall poster of this stuff to stare at randomly? oh with hidden pigeons to startle you awake once in a while.

  6. 😯
    You actually REMEMBER all this??!!

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