Finally mine

Enter room. Walk straight up to the person at the other end.

He spoke to me.

I was feeling very thirsty, and it was very hot, so I went to have nimboo paani in college. It’s really, really good.

I didn’t have change, and the juice vaala was beginning to look angry. Suddenly, out of nowhere came this voice: “Chill. I got it!”
It was him!
He took out 5 bucks, and handed it over, smiled at me, and continued talking to his friend. I mean, I know it was only 5 bucks, but he PAID! That totally meant something!

I decided. Enough was enough.
So I cleared my throat.

Take step forward

“Hey, could I talk to you for a moment?”


He nodded.

Look at audience


We walked out of college. He looked a little unsure, but I was totally in control. I just hope he didn’t see my hands shaking.

We went to the” village”, which is where everyone goes to smoke. Vilas (that’s the cigarette vaala) said hi to the both of us. We were all alone as we sat down to smoke. Even that old uncle who always screams at us for smoking wasn’t around.

I sat and looked at him. I’d never seen him so up close. He was GORGEOUS.

Sit on chair.

“Do you wanna come to my house?”

Look at audience sincerely.

I didn’t want anything, you know. I just wanted to talk to him. Spend time with him.

He agreed.

Get up. Walk around.

I had gotten my car to college that day. It was a very crappy, run-down car, but I still felt REALLY cool. We drove to my house. No one was at home. My mum was in Lucknow, and dad works in Singapore. I’m always alone at home.

We entered, and
“Make yourself comfortable!”

I went into the kitchen.
Hold bottle

There’s this really old bottle of wine we have. My parents made me promise I’d never touch it, but this was a special occasion, right? They’d understand.

Look at bottle in a confused way
I didn’t know how to open the bottle. I’d never tasted red wine.
Walk out of kitchen, into the living room

“Could you come in here for a moment, please?”
Walk back into kitchen, looking shyly at ground. Move hair behind ears. Smile.

“Would you like some wine? (Pause) I know it’s really early (Look at watch). It’s 2! (Laugh). But… I just though… (Smile) GREAT!”

He opened the bottle like a pro. Like those bartenders you see? I’ve never actually seen them, but I’m sure that’s exactly how they did it.
Look at the guy admiringly.

He took out two glasses from the cupboard. He knew exactly where everything was!
We went back into the living room.

Walk out of kitchen. Sit on “sofa”

We laughed, and talked…

Okay, so I lied. I was doing most of the talking. He looked really nervous, but that was understandable.

Time for Step 3.

“Do you wanna come into my room?”

Long pause.

He agreed!!!!!!!!!!!!

We entered my room, and I saw him look at my wall. He had this really weird expression on his face. Like I was some sort of freak.

Oh… I haven’t told you, have I? He’s the captain of the college basketball team.

Big smile.

I’ve watched EVERY game of his over the last 4 years. And he’s so AWESOME. He always scores. ALWAYS.
And, though he doesn’t see me in the crowd, I’m always cheering. I always cheer the loudest, and clap so hard that my hands hurt.

Pretend to be watching a game. Clap frantically.

He never saw me, though.

But anyway, his pictures come in the paper, you know? Mid-day, Mumbai Mirror…even DNA!

All this while, excitement is palpable.

I’d cut out all those pictures, put a little red circle (sometimes a heart) around them, and stuck them to the wall adjoining my bed.

He had a really weird expression on his face.

That’s when I decided.
Soft voice. Sitting down.

We sat on my bed, and I told him about all the nights I
d spent there, crying over him…how I’d felt so worthless.

He looked shit scared.

And that’s when it hit me! THIS WAS ALL A FARCE!

Get up. Walk agitatedly.

He wasn’t what I thought he was. And it was because of beautiful people like HIM, staring down at people like ME.


I’ve never felt good about myself, you know? I’ve never liked the way I look. And people like him, always judging you by what you wear, how you speak, how you eat, the way you walk…it doesn’t make it any EASIER!

He said his girlfriend was waiting for him, and that he had to leave. He backed away, back into the living room.

His girlfriend’s a slut. That’s another thing I didn’t tell you.

She cheats on him,and still tells him she lvoes him. It’s disgusting! I mean, when you’re with someone, you respect them, right?

Look at me. I love him!
Yeah, I love him.

He doesn’t know me at all. He doesn’t even know my name! But I love him, and that’s what matters, right I mean…
I love him.

He asked me if I could drop him back to college because he didn’t know the way back from my house…and i said NO!
I wasn’t going to let him go that easily.

Centre. Start swaying intermittently, looking into the distance. Occasionally stare right into the eyes of the person ahead of you.

So I killed him.
If I couldn’t have him, no one would.

I haven’t gone to college for 3 days. He’s lying in my room. We talk everyday, and he tells me about himself.
His life.
His mom.
His dad.
How he doesn’t really like baskteball as much as it seems he does.
His little sister. I never knew he had a little sister!
He says he loves me.

I have a really weak sense of smell, but I can sense it now.

Mom’s gonna be back from Lucknow tomorrow, and she’s going to FREAK.

Snap out of reverie. Smile

I have to go now, sorry.
He’s calling me.

He’s finally mine.

Smile, and walk out of room

This is a monologue I wrote as an audition piece. I’ve worked on it for 3 years.
I do it for almost every audition I go for.

~ by cranialrumblings on March 24, 2009.

22 Responses to “Finally mine”

  1. i have tears in my eyes!!.. dont know what to say!!… im always speechless after readin ur stuff.. but anyway…. MINDBLOWINGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!


  3. scary…..well written…but….is it wrong that i had to convince myself that it was an imaginary scenario?


    very well written.

  4. This didn’t seem imaginary AT ALL.
    I could picture it as a monologue – definitely a powerful piece to perform. One of your best, I think. I love the twist in the end – but having read your stuff for a while now, the twist was kind of expected 🙂 a hint of darkness coupled with such strong emotion.
    Good stuff. Very. Very good stuff.

  5. My next short film. With your due permission…
    WOW!!!!!! This is stellar stuff!!!

  6. By God woman, you are a genius.
    It’s not very often that something freaks me out, but I loved it. The beginning lead me to believe that HE was going to do something to her, but as she kept inviting him to go further, it became clear.
    Brilliant work.

    If it’s possible, I’m an even bigger fan now.

  7. beautiful!!!..just plain beautiful!!! am speechless man!!! 🙂 toooooooooooooo gooooooood!!

  8. dude….. i love you…n ur stuff… fuck i do…. pure genius…

  9. Brilliant as always. But I found the killing a little abrupt. Im sure all your fans here are going to kill me.

    But your work is beyond brilliant. As always.

  10. if i can’t learn to write as well as you do………
    i’m going to have to kill you.

    by the way, you know everytime i read anything you write, it all plays out in my head like a movie? yeah this was fucking brilliant.

  11. you know i love this piece don’t you? i don’t care what anyone else says, to me, you’re the best writer, actress, director and all round most awesome person on this planet. don’t stop being you. ever. i love you!!!!!! muaaaaah!!!!

  12. Nice… would love to see you perform this though…

  13. i think i’ve heard this…rather seen this…hummm i wndr where!!!!

  14. wow….reminds me of porphyria’s lover….damn good man.

  15. Scary. Need to see it.

  16. So like I said, Very smart little piece. And brilliantly performed I might add (though the shady lighting of the cul-de-sac in the fading light of a summer evening may have had added to the creepy).
    Very smart display of range of emotions, technically well thought of. Your efforts show, and do not go unrewarded. As a viewer I was left spell-bound, lusting to know what happened next, feeling her emotions as she came to terms with her own… Her surprise and excitement at the fact that he knew of her existence and her urgency in seizing opportunities seemingly thrown in her path, were almost tangible. The twist was slightly predictable (as it would be to any religious follower of your work), but the sinister lack of emotions was spine-chilling and had the desired effect – that of leaving the viewer/ reader awe-stricken at the mere genius.
    Very powerful.
    Well done.

  17. *sinister lack of remorse at the end

  18. brilliant!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  19. a whole new meaning to rubbing then! 😛 I like it though, nice was to remind us to be kind to nature. and as always, very Anisha! 🙂

  20. Wow. I hopped across from mystique’s blog and this post caught my eye. Wow.

  21. You = Brilliant upcoming author
    Me = First one to buy

    Unexpected,really. Eye distance from screen was 1cm this time.
    3 years is a really long time. But believe you me, it was REALLY worth it.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: