She’d been surrounded by waves all her life.
Mostly of the emotional kind, surging against the walls of her soul, making their presence felt as they broke around her heart, broke her heart little by little.
It had all begun with her dad abusing her. Not physically, you understand. He was too upright for that. No no, it was the worst kind of abuse. It was the kind that made her want to curl up in a little ball and die. The kind that made her hate herself, made her feel worthless, unloved and unnecessary.
He reminded her of how truly useless she was. He hadn’t wanted a daughter, of course. She had been a disappointment even before he had gotten to know her.
She had driven herself to work harder, dig out more opportunities. She began to make a name for herself as the fun, talented one. Thetare, writing, singing, dancing- she threw herself into it all.
Her mother was her closest friend. Someone she could talk to about anything.
But things began to change. Her mother became petty, picky. She didn’t understand the smallest things, and refused to see things from her daughter’s point of view.
The fights at home increased tremendously.
And so did her threshold of tolerance.
She began spending more and more time out of the house, refusing to sit around in a deafening silence. She began going to bookstores, coffee-shops. She began to enjoy her own company.
But this led to a vicious circle. The more time she spent out, the more fights ensued.
The more time she spent out.
She couldn’t do it anymore.
The waves began to engulf her.
One day, she lashed out. Screamed at her parents, baring her very soul to them, in the hope that they would understand exactly what she was going through, and that they would reach some sort of compromise.
Her plan backfired. Her father completely shut down, treating her like an unwanted entity. Conversation was limited to a minimum. She liked it, to some extent. She didn’t need to explain anything to him anymore. She just wished he didn’t look through her or disregard her the way he did. She watche him as they ate their dinner in silence. Any comment he made was directed only to her mother, who in turn, had become even more angry with her.
She was just tired now.
So here she stood, on the rocks at Bandra, letting the waves wash over her toes.
She watched the tantalizing waves. How would it be to. . . .?
She took a step forward.
Sitting on the rock, she let her feet dangle into the water. It encircled itself around her toes, and she tilted her head back.
ow simple things would be if she could just be on her own. Live on her own terms, lead the life she’d always wanted to.
Things would be tough, sure, but she wouldn’t have to deal with deafening silences or awkard family moments.
Could it be that she had reached her limit?
Could it be. . . had she finally, FINALLY had enough?

She did not know, but she knew that this was perhaps the best choice she had ever made. For the first time, her father wouldn’t call her selfish.

~ by cranialrumblings on May 30, 2009.

12 Responses to “Waves.”

  1. Hmm.. youve left it hanging. Theres two ways it can go from here. The question though, is , where are you going?

  2. i like the freedom in this.. and i like the last bit.. let every reader have what they want,,,

  3. I love you. *giganto-humungo-big hug*

    side note : the word ‘how’ is missing it’s ‘h’ toward the end of the piece.

  4. Vivek’s right, you know?

    i love you.
    very much.
    very very much.

  5. I agree with Vivek too. I thought I was the only one unsure about the end…

  6. I purposely left it hanging, you lily-livered spoon feedees. 😛
    I went the right way, Vivek.
    Jai, Shalaka, I love you too. 🙂
    Himansoo, you’re never alone. 🙂
    Sorry about the typo, by the way. Too lazy to go back and change it now.

  7. Well, contrary to public opinion, I loved the open ending. It’s something that I’m very familiar with, so it was great to read.

    The piece itself was stirring, touching, moving and beautiful.

    I would have put in more big words, but that would kill it.

    Seriously, wonderful work.

  8. kudos another nice one 😀

  9. (Y)(Y)(Y)…another great piece :D…
    very very moving….

  10. can relate with some parts of it.. for v diff reasons!

  11. perfectly left unended . . .

  12. Omg WAVES.
    I LOVE waves.
    And I love the story. It’s bloody brilliant.
    You make me jealous 🙂
    You write so well. . Don’t ever stop haan.

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