Musings of a Diva

♪ Don’t you want somebody to love, don’t you need somebody to love? ♪

Don’t you simply love that song, darling. I remember when we first heard it on the radio. I said to my manager, I said, “Darling, we simply HAVE to use this in a musical!”

Of course, he scoffed at me, but I went straight to my table with 2 bottles of vodka. Over those bottles, darling, I wrote what I think was the best play to hit Broadway since Jackie Curtis and Candy Darling.

Of course, EVERYONE wanted us on their stage, being the attractions we were…I was. I tell you, darling, when men saw my name on the bill, they couldn’t help themselves. The women, they loved my clothes…the 1930’s gowns I picked up from those quaint little thrift stores and made my own.

I always got into trouble as a boy. I remember this one time, when I was just coming back after having dressed down, the police pulled me up for speeding. Not that I cared, you see. I mean, that poor boy didn’t know who I was! Anyway, I had no eyelashes to flutter, no lipstick to accentuate my pout. It was the first and last time I actually received a ticket!

Anyway, I’m digressing. Where was I? Ah, yes. The men. You see, darling, it was quite fascinating, really. They didn’t know what to make of me! Was he a man? Was she a woman? Was it a transvestite? My answer always was, “Darling, I’m just fabulous lil’ old me!” In those gowns, that jewellery, and those wigs, darling, I had the audience in my manicured hands. They would feed like starving children upon the scraps of glamour I threw them. Don’t look at me like that, darling, it’s true!

I never really had a house, you know. There was always someone’s bed to sleep on, and often not alone. You’d be surprised, darling. You think people are open about it now? I’ll have you know that, with just one click of my heels, I could have had any man within a ten-mile radius itching to push me up against the wall of a dark alley. I was a warped Dorothy, they used to say.

I was called a ‘drama-drag queen’ by some trashy newspaper once. I loved it, darling. Loved the attention. I could walk on the street, my hair done up just like Barbara Streisand, or Judy Garland, and there would be a horde of faces, just trailing after me. I remember the time I merely wanted to get some cigarettes. It took me 4 hours to get ready, because I felt particularly drama-drag queen-like. I never went anywhere without glitter in my hair and around my eyes. I think it lent me character. Not like those fakes who stuffed their bras. Anyway, I walked towards the corner, and, darling, it was phenomenal! The streets were simply crammed with people, all sidling up to me.

A diva? Darling, of course! With my entourage, and my airs, I would’ve been insulted if they’d called me anything else. I tried, you see, to live a normal day once. Waltzing towards the theatre in a polo-neck sweater and jeans didn’t do it for me. The swish of my hips, the tilt of my head and a swish of me hair…it’s what I simply lived for.

Today, of course, it’s not the same. I live in this, this hole. It’s the first time in twenty years that I’ve had to pay rent, and I tell you this darling, it is NOT pretty.

Oh, you must see this picture they clicked of me. After all this time, don’t I still look stunning? Don’t crumple it so! I put it in my little memory box, along with all those tokens of love from over the years. There, there, no peeking!

Aah, you have to leave? Well, you’re the one who kept me up talking for this long.

Anyway, darling, you know the way out. I simply must have my afternoon siesta.
♪ You better find somebody to love ♪ …

~ by cranialrumblings on August 17, 2009.

12 Responses to “Musings of a Diva”

  1. first blog of users i reading & really liked it.
    -The Don

  2. you do realize you need that one picture to get this to perfection, dontcha? 🙂 Apart from that, you really don’t need me to say a thing, darling.

  3. love it!
    check messages.

  4. Darling, your idea here is just fabulous, fabulous.

  5. I told you before. I ❤ you. This is one of my most favouritest pieces ever. I can't explain why I love it so much exactly, but let's just say it's given me a little bit of the push I needed towards a complete acceptance of who I am, and want to be. Thank you so so so so so very much. 😀

  6. lol… darling that was awesomeness at its best 🙂

  7. Very nice. Very, very nice concept. Loved the way it flows. I can almost visualise this faded prima donna of a ‘diva’, sitting in a shabby apartment, wallpaper peeling off, and with generous amounts of make-up trying to hide the wrinkles and laugh lines in vain.

    What I especially liked is, towards the end, you resisted the urge to go into melodrama. It could’ve so easily turned into a begging-for-the-limelight situation. I love the way he dismissively says, “Ahh, you have to leave? Well you’re the one who kept me up talking.”

    On a downside, I don’t like ellipses, and I wished you hadn’t used them. But then that’s nitpicking, that is. And I guess I would’ve liked to know more about her current existence as well.

  8. how do you do it? go so completely in detail and sound fabulous while you’re at it?

  9. lmfao! I couldn’t help but think of Parmeshwar Godrej.


  10. I’m just gonna put this down. I’m at a loss for words here.
    Its just so glitzy and the way you tell it, its like the top of the world rested under those heels, yet there’s an element of despair, not outright, but present nonetheless.
    Nice work. Like the structuring, complete and endearing.
    Would’ve loved to get to know this guy!

  11. This is Guy Pearce from “The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert”, speaking to us, a few years from now…
    Loved the positivity!

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